There’s no elegant or tasteful way to explain that my initial interaction with my dearest Casey Elizabeth Finigan was solicited through obsessive, and, borderline, stalker-ish efforts to locate her on any available social media platform so I could ask her out on a date. Let’s throw it all out there…in August of 2019 her “profile” more than caught my eye on a popular “swipe-right, swipe-left” dating site (think…Buzzzzzz) and I was extremely excited, hopeful, and nervous when I mustered up the courage to make my (digital) move on her. She was so beautiful. I could only dream that it would be “love at first swipe”…

It was, unfortunately, not (womp, womp, wompppppp).

Thankfully, I had enough foresight to anticipate the extremely rare possibility that she would have not have swiped right on me. Fortunately, moments before making this move, I had strategically taken several screenshots of her striking profile pic. With a little (*lot of) sleuthing (*stalking) I cracked the code and was able to miraculously triangulate to her Instagram profile (or profiles, plural, rather). Eureka! “Casey Dettman” has such a nice ring to it, right?

Now simply finding her Instagram profile didn’t exactly mean I was on the fast track to locking up a date with Casey. Therefore, I find it rather fitting that within my opening lines as a “slid up into her DMs” I profoundly announced, “persistence is a virtue…”

Of course, I had no idea at the time that Casey was well known amongst her family and friends for having an average 2,729 unread messages, emails, and DMs at any given time. It’s of course, no surprise to me now that it took her exactly 28 long, excruciating days for her to respond to me with (word for word, emoji for emoji): “hi wow sorry i’m just seeing this (face palm girl) – went to my requests.”

Of course, it’s also no surprise to anyone that knows Casey well that the response came with neither punctuality, nor punctuation (including capitalized letters). In fact, she still claims today that she was simply bored and hungry that night.

Alas, I was working very late nights in Miami attempting to power through the 2018 tax filing season, and Casey was bored and hungry in Fort Lauderdale, with no real opportunity for me to seize the opportunity quickly. I kept steady touchpoints with her over the next few days, peppering her with tasteless dad jokes and off-color quotes. She joked that she had a soft spot for “wine and taxes,” and I followed up with a reference to Benjamin Franklin’s quote, “Nothing can be said to be certain except death, taxes, and wine.” That’s how it went right?

So fast forward to September 17, 2019. With a recent tax deadline in my rearview mirror, I managed to coerce Casey to meet me at Bar Rita, a Mexican restaurant in Ft. Lauderdale, using a couple of C-grade dad jokes including the lines like “just in queso” and, “do you wanna taco ‘bout it?” Mexican turned out to be a particularly fitting as Casey announced to me on this first date that her ‘23 & Me’ showed that she was part Mexican (later found out to be a questionable mix-up and a European country that rhymes with “pain”).

Now cautiously, I showed up 30 minutes early to ensure I could lock up a corner seat at the bar and, of course, she showed up 1hr and 15 minutes late which left me more than enough time for one-too-many pre-game Margarita’s for this first date. I remember having MAJOR butterflies and tried to keep calm by practicing my small talk with a guy on my left (I think his name was Steve?). When Casey finally showed up, it was game over for me. Was she as beautiful as the pictures I obsessed over for the days leading up to this date? More than could ever be imagined. Was she as witty, raw, and fun as the non-stop written banter we engaged in non-stop before the date? Through the roof. Did she love truffle guacamole and Margaritas as much as a guy like me could possibly hope for? ¡Claro que sí, señor!

The date was fantastic, the conversation was fluid and dynamic, and I was immediately in love. I couldn’t have been smiling any wider. So of course, you must be imagining that I walked her out to her car to give her a big smooch…Nope! Though I wanted to more than anything, I chickened out. I walked back to my car with my head hung low. However, Casey immediately texted me when she got home and I knew at that moment that there must have been at least some reciprocation of the feelings I was having.

I first took Casey out on a Tuesday night and had a 10-day trip planned to California on that Thursday. I woke up that Wednesday morning with a big smile, but also an immense fear that an 10-day gap between the next time I might be able to see her could mean she’d have time to find another unsuspecting stalker to satiate her hunger and possibly sweep her off her feet. I had to take another risk. She already had me pegged as an obsessive stalker, so I figured I’d feed into the label and around 5PM that Wednesday, the following day, I threw a shot in the dark and asked her out on a back-to-back date. The proposed location was for Trivia Night at a local Brewery that was literally a stone’s throw from her house. I wasn’t optimistic that she’d say yes, but the moment she did my whole world lit up again. I knew it was THAT NIGHT I’d need to make HER fall in love. She’ll find out when she reads this, but I had actually already been lingering around her part of town, so I had just enough time to swing by the local McDonald’s to grab a quick drive-through order before I popped into Gulfstream Brewery. I knew just what to order…

You see, Casey to this day will tell you just how attentive and perceptive I was on our first date. Despite many Margaritas and what Casey might call a mild “brown-out,” I was able to recall and remember very specific details of all the things she said that night (she later found out I had immediately taken notes on our date on my iPhone notes app 😉). Regardless of the method to my madness, I had diligently documented that Casey had a powerful obsession with McDonald’s Crispy Ranch Snack Wraps (R.I.P.!). So, after meeting Casey at Gulfstream and having just as a magnetic of conversation for about an hour (and two Sour Beers for liquid courage), I told Casey that I had a big surprise for her and to look down at my feet at the bar. She looked down, and for a brief a moment in time I was jealous. I saw both love and lust in her eyes as she ogled the McD’s brown bag as I simultaneously told her the contents…two Crispy Wraps…all for her.

I’ll never forget her response, “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

It wasn’t long after that we gradually inched closer to each other at the bar. I remember finding excuses to whisper in her ear to land a subtle cheek to cheek contact, until the next thing I knew, we moved in to kiss one another. Yes, two somewhat obnoxious kids making out with each other at a well-lit bar during a trivia night on our second date. It was nothing short of amazing for me. It was LOVE and LIFE for sure, and I realized that night that it was a two-way street for both of us.

After Casey begged and pleaded for me to delay or cancel my trip to California, I begrudgingly did get on a flight. Let’s just say, I didn’t even last half of those 10 days before I changed my flight and flew back to the East Coast to bridge my Date #2 to #3, #4, #5…all consecutively. In fact, Casey and I spent virtually every day together after that until I lost her again in mid-October to an extended trip to her hometown in Cape Cod. Casey headed up there to be with her family, while her father, the late and supremely great, Billy Finigan, was going through through an extreme medical procedure and recovery as part of his journey and fight against cancer. Casey would be gone for nearly a month and I simply couldn’t stomach the possibly that I’d have to wait that long to see her again. Was just over a month too soon to make a trip to her childhood home in North Falmouth and meet her family? As our story has now unfolded, it becomes very apparent that there are no rules of the road when in comes to time. I made my own executive decision that I would fly to Boston, and just grab a hotel in the hopes that if Casey needed a day or night off, she could come meet me for a drink or dinner. Of course, she very caringly told me she would absolutely have nothing other than for me to stay at her childhood home at 10 Wohelo.

Though it felt a bit premature, but unusually not awkward, I made the trip and had the pleasure of meeting several members of her family for the first time. I met her mother, her father, her sister Carly on a brief respite to Boston, and even briefly met with Uncle Jeff. The latter encounter happened awkwardly after a night where Casey decided to show me home videos. I caught Jeff off-guard when I announced, “Oh, I know you. I watched a VHS of your wedding last night!”

So just over one month after meeting Casey, October 31, 2019, marked my first trip to Cape Cod as I pulled up to her house at night. She and her mom were drinking wine on the front stoop after the trick-or-treaters died down that night. Little did I know at the time, Cape Cod and 10 Wohelo would eventually become my second home, and home to my future extended family.

Casey’s month on the Cape that October and November were tough on her, and consequently tough on me, but nothing in comparison to what her father, Billy, endured. In thinking back on that trip, it was significant in many ways. It was when I first fell in love with the Cape and further deepened my love for Casey. It was when I met my future in-laws without skipping a beat. But behind the scenes, that trip was both darkened and brightened the far more significant event of Billy’s surgery. Without going into too much detail, that trip and Billy’s surgery ended up meaning a lot to me. It meant I’d get nearly 2-full years to get to know Casey’s father very well, and he turned out to be a magnificent man and in a brief period of time, became a very significant role model in my life. Casey and I were luck enough to have lived with Courtney and Billy at 10 Wohelo for nearly 6 out of the next 24 months and another 5 so far down the street at 6 Willow Next. As their roommates, I think we might have even overstayed our welcome. But Billy and Court would never have left us think that we were anything less than permanently welcome as houseguests. It was truly a privilege and a pleasure to get to be roommates with those two legendary people.

Now back to timelines and their insignificance…

Month 2 “After Casey” (A.C.): On November 23, 2019, Casey accompanied me as my date to my youngest brother, Cavan’s wedding. This was her “coming out” party…and boy did she put on a show, quickly inserting herself as Aunt Casey to six adoring nieces and nephews.

I told her that night she was my “person,” and would always be my person.

Month 6 A.C.: On March 27, 2020, Casey and I took the keys to our first house in Sailboat Bend, two weeks after the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic in the U.S. Spending most of the next year in quarantine/lockdown, we got to know and love each other REALLY well as roommates. This also marked the beginning of an unexpected year long journey of remodeling and renovations…down to the studs of our 1930s craftsman home.

Month 9.5 A.C.: As part of a July 4th trip to Cape Cod, the marks the first of many extended trips to live at 10 Wohelo in North Falmouth to live with our upstairs roommates, Billy and Courtney. This one for two weeks, then next in September for nearly two months, and then again in the following January for nearly three months. Over these trips, I got my does of what “85” and “Family” meant.

Month 14 A.C.: On November 21, 2020, I asked my best friend to be my fiancé alongside family and friends. I had no idea at the time how important the timing was as three of the most important attendees, my father Doug, my future father-in-law Billy, and my grandfather Carl, would not make it to our wedding day. Sharing that moment with those extremely important people in both of our lives is something I will appreciate and cherish forever. We were grateful to have Casey’s sisters’ Carly and Chloe, as well as Uncle Jack, Aunt Teri, and Ms. Elaine (Hannah) Lieberman, in attendance.

Month 18 A.C.: On March 15, 2021, Casey and I took another set of keys to our second home on Cape Cod, less than a mile from her parents’ house. We have been fortunate to spend our summer and fall on the Cape, and were grateful to have been by our father and brother Billy’s side, and to continue to be by Courtney’s side.

Month 32.5 A.C.: On June 4, 2020, I’ll be married to my best friend, my soulmate, my person. There is no one who knows me better and fits better by my side than Casey Elizabeth Finigan. I can’t wait to marry her.

LET’S DO THIS!!!

We met on the night of our first date, September 17th 2019. It was exactly 31 days after he slid into my DM’s (*insert cringe face*) which was exactly 28 days before I finally answered. While I won’t embarrass Kenny here saying how he got in my instagram inbox in the first place, let’s just say it started when someone “swiped right” and someone did not….

Our first date was at Bar Rita, the same spot where we would celebrate our engagement 1 year, 2 months and 4 days later (and they say Kenny is the good one with numbers…). We sat at the bar and spent the entire night talking. After nearly shutting the bar down from a night full of margaritas and fabulous conversation which I specifically remember to this day, we went our separate ways… him to his apartment in Miami and me to mine in Fort Lauderdale. I immediately called my best friend when I got back and told her “he’s nice, but he’s wicked nerdy”.

The next day Kenny texted me that he was “back” in Fort Lauderdale and would love to see me again if I was around that evening. I knew he was leaving town that weekend so figured I’d give his “nerdy-ness” a second shot at what other than, trivia night at a brewery right down the street from my apartment.

Kenny and I both have favorite parts from this night, and both involve “winning”… for me, its that we won trivia night and we got a whopping $25 gift card to the brewery, which was technically a double-win as I saw this as an excuse to get another date when he got back from his trip. For Kenny, it was that he remembers this as the night he won me over with McDonalds… which fine, he may have.

The next day, he went on his 10 day trip only to return 5 days later. This coming back early became a pattern for him… which I humbly blush over.

The same day Kenny got back, we saw each other for date #3. The next day we saw each other for date #4 and then date #5 the day after that. As every day passed, I kept wanting to see him again the next… this is when it became very clear just how much I liked Kenny.

In mid-October, Kenny left for a business trip to India for a global Tax Conference. The morning he left was when I noticed a change in myself - because this was the morning I realized I have become immune to his corniness. Before Kenny took off for India, I got a text "this could go either way..." followed by a video of an acoustic solo concert starring Ken on guitar and vocals. After he went home to pack and before his long flight, Kenny stopped to record himself singing one of my favorite songs by my favorite band, Hootie and the Blowfish. What an adorable nerd.

Unfortunately, his India trip was an extended trip and he would be gone for 2 weeks… 2 weeks that overlapped into my extended 1 month trip home to Boston. My Dad was undergoing a major surgery and I was going home to be there for him and help my Mom. This meant about 1 month apart after our 1 month of back to backs… well, as I had just mentioned, coming back early from trips became a pattern- next thing I knew we were 5 or so weeks into dating and he was flying to my hometown to be nearby, just in case I needed a break for some wine and a shoulder to lean on.

While, yes, typically I would think this was a “stage-5” type move (I mean especially after that whole instagram inbox thing, right?)- with him, it was actually the complete opposite for me. The fact that he traveled literally across the world to be there for me and endure meeting family members at such a sensitive and emotional time without a second thought… I knew he was the one.

Kenny flew home about a week later in early November. I flew home not too long after that to attend his youngest brothers wedding in the Keys and meet… everyone. It was now my turn. I grew up with a large and close-knit family, both immediate and extended. That week, it was like I was around my own family and I felt just the way I did when he was visiting me… comfortable, happy and certain. That week in the Keys further solidified my love for Kenny.

We’ve spent nearly every day since together… and every day since, I’ve never been happier.

Kenny is everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner. He is caring, goofy, loyal and sensitive but still knows all the right types of humor. Kenny is impatiently patient… he can be short tempered in the silliest of times, but then blindly patient when it comes to all the “typical Casey” things I throw his way. He has never once failed to let me know how much he loves me, whether that be flying across the world to be by my side or driving a mini van with me and two dogs on a surprise trip across the country just so I can be with my friends and family for my birthday. Kenny is the one person I can buy a house and move in with the week a global pandemic hits and forbids everyone to leave their home for months… and then do the whole buying a house thing again less than a year later. Kenny is my person. Kenny is my best friend. Kenny is the love of my life. He is my forever.

I am the lucky one for finally responding and I can’t wait to marry that weirdo.